Slow Llama's Part 3

 Fellow Fast Llamas,

We are back for part 3 of our series,  using Doug Curry's free resources on his website.  This article, "How to Become a Slow Llama", can be found at http://www.fastllama.com/llama-lessons-for-the-whole-year

Here's our friend Doug Curry -

Words You Can’t Take Back 

I have the wonderful privilege of presenting with Tina Schuler, author of the book, Bridge Builders. Tina and I do a two-day training called, I Just Want to Teach. Tina speaks about what she refers to as “natural language.” This is the language that we want to use that best describes exactly how we are feeling at the moment. Hit your thumb with a hammer? Probably some natural language is going to occur. Student makes you really mad? Well……..certainly we all get mad. We all get frustrated. Students are challenging. However, professionals refrain from using natural language when working with students. 100% of the time. Yeah, that’s right. 100% of the time. 

Professionals use “professional language.” 

 Why is professional language so important? Professional language is essential as it is the only language that will enable you to truly help students. The obvious reason is that the world expects you to speak and act as a professional. But the reality is, that when you give in to that worst part of you and use hateful, mean, sarcastic, and judgmental language with a student, the relationship is pretty much over. 

Ask yourself: Do you like to hang out with people who treat you poorly and say hateful things about you? Don’t think so. The other reality about the need for professional language is that students with emotional difficulties can only be helped by a loving and caring person who does not “react” emotionally to anything that the child does. 

The adult cares, but maintains the role of a dispassionate observer. Only then do you have anything to offer a child experiencing difficulty. 

Since we are all so ridiculously imperfect, and we all have feelings, how do we avoid natural language? It’s simply a commitment, which is another way of saying, “FAKE IT!” 

This speaks to me (no pun intended).  Remember, Everything Speaks!  Everything you do or say or even wear is sending a message to the world around you.  That's the bad news, because you might not be intentionally sending out a negative message, or the message is only in part of who you are.  The good news is, you do have control over how you respond and the message you send out to the world.  Especially when things don't go your way. How you respond in adversity speaks volumes. Your kids are watching!

One time, I had a group of student council kids leave for a field trip in the morning.  When they came back to campus, their sponsor let them go to some core classes for makeup during what would have been their STUCO class period.  When the class was over, one STUCO student said to me, "you talk differently to this class, than you do to ours".  

I was floored.  Because I knew he was correct.  I did speak to that class in short tempered bursts and exasperated sentences.   I could feel it... and I was ashamed.  

I was doing a great job in making sure the students knew I didn't like them...  I was an expert at it.

This was an important moment for me and though it hurt, the reflection it caused created a shift in me that I have not forgotten.  

So, here is something think about.  

Let's say it's test day.  You have a full class and it is after lunch, which you didn't have time to eat,  The kids are getting ready to test. 

It looks and sounds like this...

Students are handing in their Brain Dumps, putting away backpacks, you are reminding them about phones, bubble scan sheets are being picked up, calculators are being picked up & kids are sharpening pencils.  The room is BUSY.  2 kids are out today, 2 kids were out yesterday and want to know if they have to take the test.  There is a lot going on.  Time is ticking, because the test is taking the whole class time for most students, and you still want to get them to their Alpha State before they begin.  Tick, Tick, Tick...  

Then, one kid asks...

"How many questions are on the test?"

How you respond is what we are talking about today. Will you answer in a snarky, "you are about to find out!", a sarcastic, "divide 1000 by 40!", an exasperated, "oh my gosh, it doesn't matter!"

Or

You can simply smile and say, "25."

                                                                                                                       Shift happens

Speaking With Good Purpose

One of the 8 Keys of Excellence focuses on our speech.  The way we speak and our intentions with the words  - matters.  It all starts with awareness.  

Your words have power... they can cut others down or lift up their spirits.  These words are also the words you hear in your head... be careful to choose those words wisely too.

I'll finish today with Haim Ginott.  The famous educator and author.  He asserted that children learned how their teachers felt about them by how the spoke to them... that "if you want children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others." 

He added...

And most famously, this quote:

Until next week!  

Ginott, H. G. (1993). Teacher and child: A book for parents and teachers. New York: Collier.

Slow Llama's Part 2

Fast Llama's,  

We are picking up from last week, using Doug Curry's free resources on his website.  This article, "How to Become a Slow Llama", can be found at http://www.fastllama.com/llama-lessons-for-the-whole-year

Here is Doug Curry:

Bad Body Language, Expressions, and other Signals 

What is the figure that you read sometimes? You know, the one that says that something like 1,000% of all communication from one person to another is nonverbal? Well, that might not be the exact figure, but the truth is that students learn a whole lot about your “llamahood” from the way you carry yourself, the look on your face, and your perceived energy level (or lack thereof). 

Do you appear to be “low energy?” Get ready to be devoured. 

Do you appear to be cranky most of the time? Get ready to be the subject of a student’s private video and become an instant social media viral star! 

Do you appear easily frustrated? Do you appear to take things personally? Get ready to be sucked into the emotional morass of every young person’s internal conflicts. 

Do you look afraid to be the person in charge? It’s kind of like a pack of dogs. One dog usually steps up to be the “dominant” one in charge. Nature abhors a vacuum. Someone is going to be in charge of your classroom, and it had better be you! 

Even when you are giving a compliment, does your face betray how you really feel? You say that you believe in the student, but your face says, “Charles Manson!” 

When a student returns to your room from ISS or detention, are you welcoming? Or does your demeanor tell another story? 

Kids know. They know if you like them. They know if you care about them. They know if you believe in them. They know if you are holding some past offense against them. It doesn’t matter if you say a word or not. They can tell by your tone, your body language, and the look on your face. 

Kids will rise as high as you expect them to rise. They will sink as low as you expect the sink. It’s amazing how good they can be for the teachers who believe them and expect the best of them. 

In Quantum Learning we say that "Everything Speaks".  Everything you do, or wear or say sends a message about who you are.  It may not be the entire message, but it is still a message.  The good news is that you have control over this message.  You have control on how you respond both verbally and physically especially when things don't go your way.  I was once told that I perform a huge heavy sigh right before I presented the "path of learning and memory".  You know what?  I find presenting this piece quite challenging... internally I dread it... see the message I was sending?  Be aware of your own response and the response of others.  But, don't be too judgy, if my arms are crossed, I could just be cold... 

Ways that you can share the message that you believe in your students is to use three communication moves. Demonstrating them in your actions and in your words.  Remember, everything that occurs in your classroom is under your orchestration.

1. This is important.

2. You can do this.

3. I will not give up on you.

These communication moves can help upgrade student performance.  A lot of times, students carry with them the feelings and emotions of negative experiences that they tie to learning.  If we are aware of our body language, words and signals, we can change these negative feelings students may be bringing to your classroom.  By sharing the communication moves overtly, clearly and consistently we can change student perceptions of themselves and of their academic abilities.  One of the best things you can tell a kid is that the effort they put into their work paid off, especially when the work is challenging.  

Here's a graphic to help solidify this idea:

As students gain more and more positive experiences, they begin to align these positive learning experiences with your classroom and begin to change their perceptions of themselves.  All because you believed in them and believed in the impact you have on their lives.  What message will you send them next week?